The Week Has Arrived...

Welp.

It's here.

 

The semester is over, and I'm taking a break from packing my house to jot a little down. It's going to be a long, emotional week.

 

THE GOOD NEWS is that I got two A's and a B out of my classes-- SCORE! And yes, one of those A's was in Algebra. I'm not completely impressed, considering it was a review from about 15 years back, but I'm still kinda proud of it.

 

Kitty is looking quite concerned as I pack up boxes and stack them... she's pretty high-strung already, and any kind of change makes her a little crazy. Still not sure how I'm going to get her there without a mini stroke.

 

Back to packing I go. I'm marking boxes with a "B" when they're headed for the basement, and an "S" for storage. Quite organized, if you ask me.

 

This is the hardest part, because you don't know what to pack and what to leave til closer to time. Bleh.

Finals Week

So fortunately, my classes on campus have been pretty cool so far. I guess I should say the teachers have been cool-- is it because 99% of their class is 18 and they feel like they should go easy on us? Maybe. Who cares, though? It's benefitting me.

My algebra teacher, in particular, has been very helpful. She doesn't take crap off of the younglings, but you can tell she really wants us to get what she's teaching. She set up the class so that we would have TWO full days of review before her final. It's comprehensive, and that can be really intimidating when you haven't touched an inequality for three months. Most of the class showed up on the first review day, and she told us that the second was up to us and how comfortable we felt.

I really felt like it would be cocky for me to stay home the second review day. I mean, I'm in basic algebra for a reason. So I went to school at my usual time last Thursday.
I was one of four people that came.
In all honesty, I had most of my questions answered and felt okay with taking the final. But I just can't be too sure considering my history with the subject. So I took a few more notes and left a little early. But not before I had very disturbing flashbacks of middle and high school math classes.

One girl, who hadn't come to class for the first review day, was asking questions that made me nervous for her. She genuinely didn't get it. A lot of it. The teacher would ask her a simple question about a problem she was doing on the board, and her face would go blank.
....and then, it all came rushing back. That sinking feeling that no matter how hard you wanted to understand, you just couldn't. I spent many nights in tears as I stared at a book that just didn't explain it the way I needed it to. I would cry, and call my friends and ask questions, get aggravated with the whole process, and finally do the problems half-ass just so there was something on the paper. Most of my tests and homework came back looking like they had been stabbed repeatedly: red ink, everywhere.
And this girl... was me, 15 years ago. I couldn't help but get a stomach ache, because that was how my body responded to the stress of feeling helpless. I wanted to get up and hug her and tell her that I knew how she felt. But uh, this is college... we don't do that kinda stuff.

By the time I was getting ready to leave, the teacher was pounding her fist and a dry erase marker on the board. She was equally aggravated that the stuff she had been teaching ALL SEMESTER had made no impact on this girl. I'd imagine that would be hard to swallow, but it probably happens a lot too. I got up and left before it got worse, thankful that I had been able to follow along thus far and that I felt okay about the upcoming final. FINALLY... I'm not physically ill over a math class. This is the first (and quite possibly last) time that has ever happened.

I've got my bio final on Tuesday, and algebra on Thursday. I commented the other day that the semester had gone fast. I'm almost not ready for it to end, because that means I have to start taking even harder classes next semester. One semester closer to applying!!

Traditional vs. Non-Traditional Students

I've been meaning to write this for quite some time. I underestimated how tired I'd be between school and work, and this blog subject is TOTALLY reflecting that. Oopsie.

From the very beginning of the semester, I noticed a vast difference in myself and the students that appeared to be right out of high school. Vast. The difference? I'm paying for my education. Most of the younger kids there have an amazing scholarship (A+) and take for granted the amount they're saving on education.

I get it, though. I was there once. Looking back, I might've acted like some of them. I wasn't paying for it, so it wasn't as important for me to take it seriously. I got good grades and always did my assignments, but it was willy nilly. Of course, I was there learning about something I didn't originally plan for (see previous blogs), and I really didn't care for. And maybe that's what some of these kids are experiencing too.

On the first day of my human bio class, the teacher made us go around the room and tell about ourselves, including what our major was. I'll never forget what one girl said: "Um, well I want to be pre-med, so I'm not even sure if this school has anything for me." I about fell on the floor. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE THEN?!?! Stop wasting your time!!  RUN, do NOT WALK to the nearest school that will be worth your while!!! ....of course, I said nothing. But I know that one day she will regret the time spent in this community college that does not, in fact, have anything she needs to become a doctor. A+ scholarship or not, you shouldn't waste time at a school, ever.  *clears throat* my sister *cough*

Then there's the kid that sleeps through algebra everyday. Every. Day.

I honestly think he gets stoned before class. I walk past him on the way to class every day, and he's always heading toward his car. Um, wrong way kid! But he came in and got chatty one morning before class. He asked what I was majoring in, because we were all airing our fears about upcoming math classes. He ACTUALLY told me that he was going into engineering, and that he had to pass EVERY SINGLE math class offered.

....shortly after, his head was on the desk and he was asleep. Somehow I don't think he gets what he's up against. Saying you want to be an engineer because it sounds cool won't actually get you through the program. And in case you were wondering, when it came time for our final review he proved he was totally lost in the class by the questions he asked. I'm in basic algebra. G'luck, kid.

I agree that college isn't for everyone. Part of me thinks that we shouldn't start college until our 20s-- live in the real world a couple years and let us decide that we don't want to be burger flippers forever and we'll go back with a TOTALLY different perspective.

I know it's true for me. This time around, it's totally different. I'm working in a profession that some turn into their lifetime career. So while I'm keeping my head in the game there, I'm being reminded everyday that I have to prove myself  in order to get where I'm going. I have to make specific grades to even be eligible for this program, and that requires work. I'm not afraid to ask questions a million times over if I have to, if it means I totally and completely understand something to pass a test. Most importantly, I'M PAYING FOR THIS. There will be a bill in the mail the second I graduate, so why would I want to waste a second of the experience?

(side note: Will I ever NOT have a student loan in this lifetime??)

 

I'm thankful for this third (and Lordy, please FINAL) chance to go back. I'm doing my best to make the most of it. I see it in a totally different light than the people right out of high school. Maybe one day they'll regret it, maybe they won't. I just know that it takes no time at all to differentiate between us in class.