Home is where your stuff is.

As I would tell people about my plan to move, they'd all say something to the effect of, "Ugh, really? I could never do that." Or "You're going to hate that after living by yourself for so long." And yeah, I would tend to agree with them because it's just human nature. Who wants to move in with their parents at the ripe age of.... well, my age doesn't matter here.

I had a complete meltdown the night I wrote my last rent check out. I kept asking myself what I had done... why did I think this was a good idea? I really thought that moving day would result in a lot of tears and resistance. I don't like change, and I don't like giving up my independence. I prepared myself for a month or better... moving day would be a very hard day for me.

But when it was all said and done, there were no tears. No anxiety attacks or even mood swings. I will admit that I got a little emotional the day I went back to clean. That probably had more to do with the build up than anything. It was that release of "it's finally over" that got to me. I took a deep breath and took one last look around. I made a lot of memories there:

* I made a lot of friends while living there. I also lost quite a few. (What they say about leaving the world with a few good friends is true.)

* I had two serious relationships-- oddly enough, the first couple months that I lived there, and the last month I lived there. I've been single a lot, y'all.

* I let my inner chef out. I cooked... a lot.

* I drank a lot of wine with a lot of good people in that living room.

* I was equally entertained and disgusted by my neighbor and his "help" (someone get that man someone decent!).

* I had a lot of scares: storms, the sound of gunshot in the middle of the night (two times), local happenings that made me uneasy to stay alone, and a construction crew that may or may not have placed a nail under my pillow just to be jerks.

* I dealt with a water heater exploding (and "babysitting a bucket" for a couple days), a light globe falling from the ceiling and shattering into three rooms, and an air conditioning drain flooding down the hallway. The place needed some updating.

* I went through rough times with family. Thank goodness they're stuck with me, or this story might be ending differently.

* I dealt with a terrible job that I hated, every single day. I whined about it a lot, and the truth is... it almost destroyed me. Most people didn't understand (or bother trying) but we'll just say that it's a good thing I got out when I did. I can't say for sure that I'd be here to talk about it otherwise.

* I decided that unless I did something different in my life, I'd live in that apartment forever.  Just spinning my wheels....

I opened the door, sobbing, and stepped outside. I turned around to lock the door, then put the key in the mailbox. I looked to my right and there were my "surprise" pumpkins.... yet again. I decided right then and there that they'd be coming with me. I wasn't going to let the next tenant mow over them, or even reap the benefits. I was instantly happier because I knew that I'd have every little thing from my apartment with me where I was going. Even the pumpkins would transplant with me.

It might sound materialistic, but I've just decided that HOME IS WHERE YOUR CRAP IS!! Nothing makes me feel more at home than my pictures... and my scrapbooks... and my cat. All of the things that I couldn't live without would be with me, and the rest would be in storage for later. The situation isn't perfect (we've talked about this before) but I can make do as long as I have my stuff. The stuff that makes up my life and makes me happy. Home is actually where you feel comfortable, but what makes me the most comfortable are the belongings that have made me.