"Why don't you just massage full time?"

When I was working at the spa part time, at a medical office full time, and looking for a different full time job (read: benefits, specified hours and an hourly rate) I got this question a lot. Why not just quit the 60 hour work week and work at the spa full time? After all, it's good money, right?

The answer was so loaded, I'd usually just tell people that I needed the benefits. That's not totally true, but definitely part of it. I've always wanted to express, in detail, why I never wanted to be in the position I'm in now. Do I regret it? Nope, because I might not be back in school if I hadn't done it. But we all know that things happen for a reason and all of this fell into place when it did because I was mentally unhealthy and on the verge of a breakdown. So while I'm thrilled to be "gainfully employed" and working 4-5 days a week, I'd still like to explain why working as a massage therapist on a full-time basis was never my dream.

1. It is financially unpredictable.
So yeah, I'm on the schedule 40 hours (sometimes more), but that doesn't mean the same thing it does to someone who makes $x.xx an hour. All it means to me is that I'm at the mercy of the public and THEIR bank accounts. I could have a full schedule and make enough, or I could have a spotty schedule and literally worry about how I'll pay the next month's bills. And when the economy isn't the greatest it's ever been, you literally don't know what the week will bring you. If people are broke that month, so are you. This job is ideal for someone who has a spouse or sig. other who works and brings home enough to keep the household stable. I've always been single and on my own, and it's just not consistent enough for someone like me.

2. I work when no one else does.
Being in the "service industry" means one thing: You have to be available to work when everyone else has the day off. Weekends? Every one of them. Holidays? All the time! That one Sunday a year to cater to Valentine's Day crowds? Yep. I don't get back-to-back days off, and I don't even remember what it's like to be off on a Saturday on a consistent basis. When you've been doing it for as many years as I have (6), you really start craving that normalcy of a 5-day, Monday thru Friday work week. What really grinds my gears is the holiday thing. Sorry, but I have a family too (even if they aren't a spouse and kids). And I don't see how a massage is an emergency on New Year's Day. We lucked out on the 4th this year-- she decided to close. Yes!! But that's not always the case, so you just hold your breath and hope to get out of working. They tell you when you're in school that you get to "set your own hours" because they want to make the career as appealing as possible. Truth is, that only works if you own your OWN BUSINESS, which doesn't seem to be incredibly profitable in the first place. Not in this area.

3. My body won't let me do this forever.
No matter where you work, you get paid based on productivity (if you will). Sometimes it's commission, sometimes it's hourly, sometimes it's by service. All spas are different, but if you're not rubbing on something naked, you're not making money. So naturally, you want to work. If I have a day that only one or two appointments land on my schedule, I'll eat Ramen for lunch knowing that I'm taking a hit that day. BUT this does not mean I want to be so loaded down with appointments that my joints don't work the next day. Most people don't realize how physically taxing the job really is! As of late, I had to write a formal letter stating what my limitations were per day. I just couldn't do it anymore. I was consistently being given more than my body could handle. If you don't say otherwise, they'll plop it right down on your schedule, assuming you're able to do it. My hips has been giving me hell (keeping Doc Limbaugh in business! Ha...), my feet are starting to bother me (runs in the family, although I hope mine is different) and my back is forever in knots. When I started, I was an overachiever. Now I just want to be able to come home and function enough to eat dinner and maybe fold a load of laundry. I can only handle so much before all I'm good for is 10 hours of sleep, and that's gotten old. Being "worked to death" has never felt so real as it does at the end of a 9 hour day when you've had 3 deep tissues.

4. I didn't want to be a statistic.
Did you know that the average burnout rate of a massage therapist is ONLY THREE YEARS?! So wait... lemme do the math..... carry the two.... that's not even long enough to pay of your student loan!!!! So now that I have doubled that number, I'm proud to say that I'm still in the game. I'm ashamed to admit, however, that my heart just isn't in it anymore. And this is what I wanted to avoid. When I came out of school I was fired up to do some massage-- I wanted to make a difference, one person at a time. I wanted to work in the medical field doing massage, helping people to overcome physical boundaries after injury or strain. That dream was quickly stomped upon when the first doctor who promised me a job completely turned his back on me, THEN I was forced to find out the hard way that us LMTs aren't welcome in the medical field because INSURANCE RARELY PAYS FOR IT. So naturally, no physical therapist is going to hire someone like me... no one will pay out of pocket for something like that.  *sigh* Crap, now what? I went to work at the spa I currently work in because I just needed to make some money. Plain and simple, I had gone to school and had a student loan to pay off, and if I wasn't doing it I was wasting all that education. And I quickly realized that this was the only place nearby that I'd ever work doing massage.... and my medical dream slipped away. That's enough to make anyone cranky. This isn't what I dreamed about as I was going through school, and it's certainly not where I thought I'd land. Doing "spa work" was never my thing: I don't like to fluff, or scrub, or rub stones on people. I like to get in there and DO STUFF when there's stuff to be done. But whaddaya know.... I'm here. And now that I do 5 full bodies (and then some) everyday, I feel as though I'm just a programmed machine. Back, legs, FLIP, legs, feet, arms, neck, done. Next! I never wanted to feel this way about massage, but I do... and I seriously doubt that'll change because I'll ALWAYS work in a spa. Land of "I just wanna relax." Doh. Now it's just time to move on.

5. It's time to be an adult. I'm way late on that.
To me, an adult is one who is independent. It's fine to ask for help every now and then, but an adult has it under control a good majority of the time. This includes carrying benefits that allow you to plan for the future. Yet again, this job is good for someone with a spouse that AT LEAST has some health insurance... because this job just doesn't offer it. I know, I know... "Obamacare" blah blah. I don't know what will happen with that. All I know is that I'm uninsured and have absolutely no retirement in place. I started hitting the panic button about that a few years ago.... imagine how I feel about it now. I have irrational fears about being hurt and not being able to afford the healthcare I need. What's worse is that if I break a limb, I'm out of work for 6+ weeks. Aside from roller skating, I've been pretty cautious about everything for years now. My body is literally my money maker. No pressure, right?


What I CAN say is that massage has been good to me. It has been a second job when I needed the extra money, and it has gotten me away from an awful job that was nearly the end of me. It has paid the bills *most* months and has allowed for me to go back to school while still working. I've met some really amazing people, both in the biz and on my table, and I've learned incredible things from them along the way. I can't say for sure that I'll stop doing it once I'm finished with school-- who knows, I might be there part time forever! But full time definitely isn't my gig. That's why I have to continue pushing through dumb math classes and fear a tough application process. I have to take this gamble or I may never be a real adult...