I was never that kid...

I just took my second algebra test for the semester and feel I did pretty well. I got 100% on the first one, which was a nice thing to see. I've never been very mathy, and the fact that I got an A out of last semester, and I'm pulling one halfway into intermediate algebra is refreshing. I was never the math kid... the one that people asked questions, or trusted to take notes from.

 

But last week... LAST WEEK... was awesome. There were a couple of people who had been absent a couple days and were a little lost in what we were doing. I heard the teacher talking to one of them and said something about a "really good note taker", and I immediately assumed she was talking about the paid note taker that was probably in another one of her classes.

Nope.

She walked up to ME and asked if it was okay to make copies of my notes. She laughed and said she had already promised them to someone and hoped I'd be okay with it.

 

My inner child BEAMED... I was finally THAT KID!! The one that the teacher noticed because of my hard work and ability to grasp what she was teaching. I tried to hide my smile as I showed her which pages were which, then she took my notebook and asked if anyone else wanted a copy. The guy behind me did. Two copies... my notes... weirrrrrrdd...

And to top it off, the kid behind me went on to ask me how to work a problem. Okay... that's definitely never happened before.

 

I guess it was just nice to finally be the kid in class who was doing well. That's never EVER been me in a math class. And the teacher sees that I'm trying really hard (mostly because I sit on the front row, but whatever). It's just a nice change. Halfway through this class and one more math class and I'll be done with math classes FOREVER AND EVER!

 

Here's to hoping I can hold on!!

Raw anger

I've been having a lot of anger lately. Unfortunately, that's something I struggle with a lot. The world isn't fair, and I have a hard time grasping that. Why are good people punished? Why aren't bad people held accountable? So yeah, it's hard for me.

As I was walking through the halls yesterday, I ran into one of the women I had interviewed with for a position at the college. She was one of many people I had "met with" about a job over the 5+ years I was looking for something. But instantly, I was mad. Like, hold myself back mad.

So this goes out to all the people who rejected me for a job when I desperately needed it:

 

A HUGE EFF YOU!!!

You are the reason that I am here, back in school, and living in a basement. It is because of you that I felt like I had no other option but to go back to school for the THIRD time. It is because of you that I get insanely jealous when I hear of someone getting a job like it was nothing-- no effort seems to be involved, yet I would cry over rejection but always try again because I was hopeful that someone would see me for what I was worth. Eff you.

I have been thisclose to losing my mind lately. There's a LOT going on between school, work, and my personal life. It's a very tedious project right now, my life. So do I think this situation will be for the better in the end? Hopefully. But sometimes you're allowed to be angry, especially when you were forced into something. And especially when you don't see others struggling in the same way. Today, I am angry. And I'm going to allow myself that.
After all, there's nothing desirable about devoting every spare second of your time to homework. But yet, here I am.