Raw anger

I've been having a lot of anger lately. Unfortunately, that's something I struggle with a lot. The world isn't fair, and I have a hard time grasping that. Why are good people punished? Why aren't bad people held accountable? So yeah, it's hard for me.

As I was walking through the halls yesterday, I ran into one of the women I had interviewed with for a position at the college. She was one of many people I had "met with" about a job over the 5+ years I was looking for something. But instantly, I was mad. Like, hold myself back mad.

So this goes out to all the people who rejected me for a job when I desperately needed it:

 

A HUGE EFF YOU!!!

You are the reason that I am here, back in school, and living in a basement. It is because of you that I felt like I had no other option but to go back to school for the THIRD time. It is because of you that I get insanely jealous when I hear of someone getting a job like it was nothing-- no effort seems to be involved, yet I would cry over rejection but always try again because I was hopeful that someone would see me for what I was worth. Eff you.

I have been thisclose to losing my mind lately. There's a LOT going on between school, work, and my personal life. It's a very tedious project right now, my life. So do I think this situation will be for the better in the end? Hopefully. But sometimes you're allowed to be angry, especially when you were forced into something. And especially when you don't see others struggling in the same way. Today, I am angry. And I'm going to allow myself that.
After all, there's nothing desirable about devoting every spare second of your time to homework. But yet, here I am.