They call me Scrooge

I really don't hate Christmas the way some people think I do. My mom assumes that I'm just a "Scrooge" and tells everyone such, but the reality is that I'm seriously annoyed with all of the PRESSURE that comes with the holiday. (Annoyed and hate are different, right?)

Think about it.

Pressure to buy gifts, usually starting before Halloween with emails, commercials and crap stacked up at stores.
Pressure to plan the perfect meal, be sure you see everyone you're "supposed" to see that day, exchange gifts, and any other tradition your family may have.
Pressure to spend money that you may not have because "it's what you do" for Christmas. Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday... isn't there a green somethingerother thrown in there now?! COME ON!!!
Pressure to play the part of a happy American who loves Christmas. Even in the worst of situations (like Wal-Mart).

And it's all so exhausting that by the end of Christmas day, you're lucky to make it to your own bed before planting face first and passing out for as many hours as you're allowed before you go back to work (which for a lot of us is the next day).

 

IT'S JUST TOO MUCH!!

We plan for months for a day that's JUST ANOTHER DAY that the media tells us we should treat differently. What's the difference in Christmas day, and a family dinner on Sunday? It shouldn't be a dang thing, but it is... because we're pressured to recognize a commercial holiday.
Guess what.
I'm learning to despise Christmas because of its expectations. The magic is gone.

More than anything, I'm annoyed that it's in my face for months at a time. TV movies, commercials, songs, ringing bells, red covering the stores, lights... everywhere! Why is this ONE HOLIDAY such a big friggin' deal?! We really have our priorities screwed up.

Anatomy confessions.

I have a confession.
I text my Anatomy teacher pretty regulary
 
Actually, anyone can. She gave out her number for that reason-- easier to answer questions by text than phone call or email these days. But she and I knew each other through the spa before I ever took the class. I chose her class because I knew her, not knowing a thing about her teaching style and just hoping for the best.
 
She was the best thing that could've happened to me for this course-- an angel sent from the Anatomy gods, obviously. I really lucked out because she's a fantastic teacher.
 
She text me earlier to tell me what my lecture final grade was. I told her I had been refreshing my screen (literally every minute) but appreciated it. I was actually worried about my lab final, but she said it would be tomorrow before those were graded. Then, at 10 p.m. tonight.... I got the text...
"Hey! Congrats! 93 on lab, 92 overall in the class!"
 

.....what. NU UH!!! I still don't know how I pulled that off-- I really was expecting it to be much worse. But sure enough, it's there in black and white.

I actually pulled off an A in this PAINFUL class.

A class some people have to take multiple times, mind you.


I am just beyond excited. One more final tomorrow morning at 8 (hey, might as well get it out of the way...) and I'm done for a WHOLE MONTH!!

Down

Today I am having a very hard time with my life-changing decision.
I know I said I was done listening to strangers, but it's hard to ignore a doctor who is closely related to the field I'm going into.
....who repeatedly asked me if I had checked the job outlook, and said I needed to go in "with eyes wide open." He was politely trying to tell me there were no jobs to be had for my field.

I tried to stay calm about it and play it off. But inside I was really, really hurt.  I don't make it a point to bring up this conversation-- it just happens, which is why I'm afraid that it's for a reason. Am I supposed to be taking something from these people who put down my dreams? Maybe it's a huge hint and I'm an idiot if I don't take it to heart. MAYBE, just like everything else I've experienced, it's not meant to be and I'm actually just wasting my time.
It breaks my heart to even think about.

I don't know what to do with the information I was given today. I sure wish someone/something had made a plan for my life like so many others seem to have. Or at least one that makes sense. It's completely self-loathing to say this, but I'm sick of being the strong person who is given things because they can handle them. Today is not a good day.