'Cause you know that you're TOXIC...

No one likes to WORK. We all do it because we need money to survive. We NEED work.
So I guess that means we have to put up with whatever our place of employment hands us, right?
See, this is where I get myself in trouble.


I don't bite my tongue.
I don't sugar coat.
I don't hold back.
I speak my mind-- because I work in a small business and the way it's structured leaves the door wide open for any and all to contribute ideas.
....but when those ideas backfire because of catty bullshit, what can you do?


There's no feeling in the world I can compare to being employed in a toxic workplace (Unfortunately, this is not my first rodeo.). When you're like me, your ass is on the line--a lot. Because you "hurt someone's feewings..." or they feel threatened by your ideas because they are actually proactive and may make a difference (force them to do their jobs properly). And you live in fear that someone is going to get you fired over it. It's this boulder in my gut that goes away long enough for me to sleep, and reappears the instant I awake. What am I so afraid of? I guess it's losing my job and not having an income-- because that's truly the only reason I work. I don't care if I make enemies or lose friends. I just don't want to be in a bad spot because I TRIED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE and they retaliated with childish, pointless, ILLEGAL actions. It's sickening and terrifying... and borderline entertaining all at the same time!


It wasn't until this week that I actually started being excited for my new chapter.
My biggest worry was that I wouldn't have enough money to pay bills and live on, but all that went away when I realized that I was going to be freed from the toxicity that is my job. Yes, I'll still be there. But HOPEFULLY it'll be very part time, just a few hours a week. And it will be amazing. I won't be forced to face the people who are out to get me fired, nearly as much. I won't have to interact with the idiots who act like they know how to run the place but fail miserably everyday. I won't have to be a part of my fellow coworkers' drama and complaints as they continue to endure the sorry excuse for management while they just try to maintain employment. Because I'm definitely not alone-- I'm just the one who gets caught. I will walk in, do my job, and leave.


In the meantime, I must learn to keep quiet. Just wade through until I can get out. It's hard to watch things go down the crapper. I mean, that's all I ever wanted-- to ensure that my job would be there. I wanted the best for the spa, but my intentions have been twisted and I will never be the "good guy". So instead I'll say nothing. I don't care anymore-- let it burn. In fact, I'll quite enjoy watching it self-destruct from afar because of the (bad) decisions made within.


I know that for me, there's something better waiting on the other side of this nightmare. And I'm very thankful for that opportunity.